Going to the Baby Dump and looking online at the Baby Butt

No, I'm not going to dump the baby and no, I don't have a thing for baby bottoms. Eww.

Baby Dump and Baby Butt are two brilliant names of baby stores in the Netherlands. Seriously. I don't know what marketing geniuses came up with these, but I think they missed the day when they learned that if you're saying something in another language to be cool (because English is SO cool) you might want to check with a couple of native speakers about the word choice. Clearly focus groups are not big here. Because who wants to shop at Baby Butt? Let's take this idea one measly step further: What comes out of baby butts? Shit. So let's name our store that so everyone will know our stuff's shit. WHUCK?

Or the Baby Dump?! Seriously the first time I heard about baby dump I thought it was a joke, like we call Canadian Tire 'Crap Tire' - an affectionate nickname of sorts. BUT NO!!! Baby Dump is the store's real name. And it's a MAJOR baby superstore here! My sick mind quickly took it to be the place to dump your baby, but nope, the marketing team here was apparently thinking along the lines of a dump being a place to get cheap stuff. But if they'd only asked first, I would have told them the trendy word they want is Outlet or Depot. Because a dump is where you throw your shit. The shit you don't want. Therefore Baby Dump = store full of shit you don't want.

Now, despite my abhorrence of the name, I've actually been to the Baby Dump, and I got the free goodie box they give to pregnant women.  Inside, among other things, there was a plush seal - the store mascot.
The poor mascot - as labelled on the toy - is named Dumpy. Honestly. Isn't that sad? It wasn't bad enough that they completely failed to find a cool name for the store, they had to take it out on the mascot?!

Dumpy. The Baby Dump mascot

Now here's where it gets bad. Instead of boycotting these stores on principle - as I should - don't encourage them! - I regularly surf over to their websites, browsing, increasing their hits. Because as horrible as their names are, if it means saving a few euros on this whole parenthood endeavor, I'm totally willing to get my shit from the Baby Dump or the Baby's Butt itself.